i feel terrible. but im hoping that when i get back from vacation, things’ll change for the better. i know you’re not supposed to hold pity parties for yourself but thats what i’ve been doing all day. it seems like the more i try, the more i fail. so i keep trying, but i keep failing…once i get a call back from the doctor im hoping God will help me. i just dont know how much longer i can take being in this state of mind, especially with my life moving so fast. I know im never put through things i cant handle, but this is testing me to the utmost degree. i need to find happiness…and soon.
im giving guys a break. im tired of the back and forth with this one and i just dont have as strong of feelings for the other one. i think it’s time i get more into myself and start strengthening my relationship with God before I start dating/getting into guys again.
they say if you love something let it, and if it comes back then thats how you know….well today i decided that i have to let go. i know i want you in the end and i was scared of cutting off all of my emotional ties to you, but i have no choice. i cant be neglected just because you arent ready for me, so i have to move on. i realized this with a help of a friend and im so glad he told me that i have to let you go. it kinda gives me the ok to move on from you and explore my other options….but deep down inside, im hoping that you come to me when we’re both ready for each other.
being held in your arms makes me feel as if everything’s perfect in my world…i pray to God that someday it’ll be like that forever
When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest, if you must, but don’t you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don’t give up though the pace seems slow–
You may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than,
It seems to a faint and faltering man,
Often the struggler has given up,
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.
Success is failure turned inside out–
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far,
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit–
It’s when things seem worst that you must not quit.
- Unknown Author
one minute im angry. one minute im sad. one minute i hold on to a glimmer of hope. then the cycle repeats. i dont know how much longer i can stand this. i want you to lose my number and never talk to me again, or at least until i’ve moved on emotionally. I feel used. i feel stupid. i feel like i should have known better than to believe the bullshit you were feeding into my ear. how could YOU, of allll people do this to me. yet everyday, i continue on like everything’s ok…it hurts me still. very deeply. i dont know how to act when you’re around. i dont know how i should feel at this point….i wish this this on no one. i just pray that im able to forgive and move on very soon, because at this moment, you have a strong hold on me and i dont know how much longer i can take it.
watching the one you love love someone else is truly the worst pain i’ve ever felt
